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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612794">(Not) Just between us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llixale/pseuds/Llixale'>Llixale</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Forced coming out, Getting Together, Leaked Footage, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:13:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llixale/pseuds/Llixale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He survived battles, countless times now, but the last one felt different so he took his phone let his heart bleed a little.</p><p>He hadn't expected someone else to catch that on camera.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(Not) Just between us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The whole clip is less than a minute.<br/>
<br/>
To be honest, the simple fact that someone filmed it in the first place feels like a gross invasion of privacy. Updating it to the Internet? Even more like an asshole move.<br/>
Most people who saw it don’t actually care about that thought, no, what they care about is finding out who Sam Wilson, the new Captain America is confessing to.<br/>
<br/>
They stopped an invasion of vampires, the team is hurt all around and the only things intact on Sam are his vibranium-laced wings. He walks behind an ambulance with difficulty but it's the closest place he finds to be alone for a moments.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“When the Queen put me under her spell, I saw you. I- She couldn't control me thanks to you. Guess what I feel about you ain't just friendship-" he took a big breath that visibly hurt him "you saved me tonight”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
No one knows that Sam was actually trying to get a vocal message to record but messed up because of his bloody fingers. No one knows that the message has never been sent anyway.<br/>
No one cares.<br/>
There’s more headlines about who could possibly have Sam’s heart and be the object of a love so powerful, it broke the Queen’s illusion than the actual saving of hundreds of people.<br/>
<br/>
Sam doesn’t care about the press. The second he saw how nasty people were about him taking the mantle, he backed out and let the Avengers’s PR team deal with it or not.<br/>
Too busy with making sure everyone is okay, Sam doesn’t see the news the next day and no one brings it out to him anyway however he trends on Twitter for hours and the wildest theories starts to spread out.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
It becomes a war.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Everyone wants to be right about something that’s not their business at all, going into full blown ship wars.<br/>
CNN and Fox News each have their own little fun with it, but it blows out of proportion when one of Sam’s ex something, a man, comes forward, apparently tired of these theories only involving women as he feels ignored or erased, to out Sam as bisexual, therefore, adding a whole new world of possibilities.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Little problem, Sam isn’t out to anyone on the team, let alone to the public and, kind of isn’t to his family too.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
This last development arrives just when he goes into “hibernation”, which means that he is unreachable unless the world is threatened, nothing less. No mail, no social media, no phone and no one knows where he goes. He uses one of these fancy little face mask that makes him look like a whole different person and leaves for a very expensive resort hotel for the next week. It’s a birthday gift from his friends that he couldn’t cash in earlier and now is the perfect time. He wants some sun and forget about these churches the vampires had no business living in, or the cemetery or even, that one hospital.<br/>
He hates hospital now, thank you.<br/>
<br/>
Ignorance is bliss and Sam is feeling himself when he register under the name “Thomas Dawson” with his gigantic shades on his nose. The suite, because it’s a suite, is so luxurious he feels guilty to stand there.<br/>
It’s late but the resort has some activities by night too, bars and clubs and a little casino even. Sam is way too tired to go anywhere, he takes a shower, brush his teeth and sink into the bed and under the satin covered blanket with a satisfied giggle.<br/>
<br/>
The next morning, he decides to test out his private Jacuzzi, looking at the TV they have in the bathroom. He easily finds out a musical channel close from his tastes and stays there, marinating for half an hour or so before he decides that he is hungry enough to leave.<br/>
<br/>
In the fluffy bathrobe, he asks the room service for breakfast and has not a single care in the world when he opens the door with a giant smile, only to be met with a scowling James Barnes.<br/>
<br/>
“No” Sam says, trying to close the door, but Barnes put his metal hand in there and force his way inside before closing behind him. Unfortunately, the actual room service arrives right then so before he can say anything else, Sam pushes him away to open and get his food.<br/>
<br/>
Then, when there’s only the two of them in the room, Sam starts to set his food on the table so he can eat, thinking that if he ignores Bucky long enough, he will disappear.<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sam”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“No! I deserve this! I deserve my week” he says, second away to throw a full tantrum.</p><p><br/>
“I know Sam, believe me but-”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam abandons, getting away from the table entirely. A week, he can’t even have a week. He can still feel were he has been bitten in the arm, shoulder and neck for crying out loud. He walks to the majestic bedroom, his suitcase on the side of the bed, it won’t take long to pack everything since he barely get anything out in the first place.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Can you stop for a second and listen to me? You don’t have to leave. But something happened”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam stops, looks at the other man then sit on the bed “What?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You saw the news recently?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Not since I left. You know I avoid anything that can ruin my me time”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky passes a hand on his forehead quickly, looks away, then back at Sam “People caught you on video after the fight with the vampires. When you...called someone”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
In seconds, Sam’s face becomes blank “Oh”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“At first, people just- talked about it but a guy claimed to be your ex, David Froll, and so- people say you’re bisexual. Or gay. It depends”</p><p><br/>
Sam closes his eyes, gets his turned off phone in his suitcase and turns it on, a lot of calls from his sister and brother, messages from the team, from close friends too.<br/>
He doesn’t even finish to put his name in google that articles after articles appears as well as videos of both him after the fight like Bucky said and an interview of, not even his ex, a old bootycall, David. He didn’t even knew his name back then.<br/>
<br/>
He spends twenty minutes down the rabbit hole before he turns off his phone again, throws it in the suitcase and stays there, looking at his hands in his lap.<br/>
Bucky makes his way next to him and sit on the bed as well, keeping some distance between them.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry. I thought it would be worse if I waited for you to come back”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Only silence answers him, Sam is too stunned to react much.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“We don’t care, you know? If you like men”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam closes his eyes, put his head in his hands and try to take deep breaths. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have been outed and captured in that moment he had let himself be vulnerable. This was a sick joke.<br/>
What should he do? What could he do?<br/>
Well, nothing really.<br/>
<br/>
He wants to do nothing about it. After one last deep breath, he straighten and open his eyes.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“There’s a mini golf. You want to come?” He proposes to Bucky who keeps on looking at him with an even face.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sam”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You can stay if you want, or you can leave. I’m staying and I want to do mini golf, man”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Without waiting for an answer, Sam starts rummaging through his clothes, his bathrobe getting loose around his frame. Bucky’s eyes catches on on the patch of skin getting more exposed on his torso and he decides to turn his head away. He didn’t planned to stay exactly but Sam was not okay and he didn’t know what to do so in the end, Sam had the time to get ready before he could make any decision and then he followed him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky never played mini golf and he is horrible at it. The more frustrated he get, the more amused Sam is. The false face mask wearing man tries to help him by giving him some advice “Don’t make me show you the correct position like these perverts in movies who hold you from behind” he says and Bucky misses in an even worse way than the other times, sending Sam a nasty glare.<br/>
“Damn” Sam breaths, impressed at the lack of improvement.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t expect Bucky to stay after that but they decide to get lunch in one of the nearby restaurants since it’s already near one pm.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Thank you, for being here”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky stops eating, get his eyes on Sam “I got your six, Wilson”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam offers him a small and shy smile that Bucky doesn’t miss.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“We never went on holidays together. Could be it”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Now? I have nothing but the clothes I’m wearing”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam thinks for a second “Let me take care of it. Stay. Please?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
If Bucky doesn’t want to stay here for the week, Sam won’t insist. They aren’t exactly close like that, maybe, but it would be fun, he believes at least. He makes his offer and Bucky looks around for a moment, takes another bites, he is hesitant before saying “Okay” and it almost sounds like a question.<br/>
<br/>
Sam’s smile is way more radiant this time.<br/>
<br/>
There’s a mall twenty minutes from the resort so they use the car rental premium service Sam has access to as Thomas Dawson to go there. The aesthetic of it is similar enough to the resort that Sam wonders if they belong to the same group.<br/>
<br/>
Since Bucky had his last arm update, allowing a really realistic and convincing camouflage of his metal arm as a “normal” one, he is a little less fidgety in public.<br/>
He doesn’t hate the arm, not totally at least, but it’s a big target of his back, a way to identify him way too easily considering the amount of people that could go after them.<br/>
<br/>
Conveniently, it also opens new fashions opportunities to him without being too self conscious.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You are enjoying this way too much. I really don’t need that many clothes”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“What do you mean? You need something to swim in, something to go out at night and at the very least two outfits for the week, and I insist on the fact that this is a minimum. Oh. Shoes, dude, I almost forgot the shoes”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam busies himself, pushing Bucky to try clothes after clothes and different combinations. He notes the look Bucky gives him from time to time, the other man wants him to talk about the video but he isn’t ready so...no. He'd rather focuses on making sure Bucky won’t buy another pair of boots.<br/>
He hopes he isn’t forcing anything on him but the icy blue eyed man looks okay with it and gives a lot of inputs so he guesses it isn’t that bad.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Do you need help with the underwear?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Red colors Bucky’s cheeks “I, uh, I think I’ll just take regular ones”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Too bad there isn’t a real shop for men underwear, some of them,” Sam kisses his fingers “the sensation on your sexy parts, incredible. You saw my red microfiber one, didn’t you?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
The red spreads out to the rest of Bucky’s face as he lets out a strangle laugh “I did. Seems real nice”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You bet! That will be for another time, let’s find out some boring cotton ones”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
They spend around three hours in the mall but Sam feels like they only been there for a hour max.<br/>
By the time they come back, Barnes is sharing Sam’s mood and enthusiasm for doing nothing but enjoying themselves a little bit more. It’s not that he isn’t tense and had let his guard down but Sam knows he at least pretend for his benefit.<br/>
<br/>
For the night, Sam pushes him to change into the fanciest clothes they bought so they can have diner in one of the restaurants.<br/>
He actually manages to make Bucky laugh several time and it puts him at ease, for the first time, he forgets about the outside world. It’s just comfortable, just good, to be here, pretend to be free and that things are just perfectly all right.<br/>
The food is so good, Bucky steals from his plate when he is distracted, not that Sam doesn’t notice. He complains to him and all he gets is a obnoxious smile for it.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Five minutes from the resort is the beach so they decide to take a walk, the smell of the see and the sound of the waves as well as distant voices gives Sam a sense of peace. The memory of that message he tried to record slips at the front of his mind but instead of rejecting it, he reflects.<br/>
In this moment, he had been so shaken by the fight that he thought he needed to come clean, as if this secret was burning him from inside. He truly thought he send it until he truly looked at his phone again before leaving for the resort and saw that he didn't.<br/>
<br/>
The Queen had gave him an illusion so convincing he didn't want to care about the real world anymore for a minute but then Bucky's image reminded him who he was and how wrong this fake life was, how all that the Queen had to offer was lies and deception. It snapped him out of her control and he helped win the battle. When he come out in the sun, sounds of agents and medics everywhere, all he could think about was Bucky, so he thought that he should tell him exactly that. And now, the real world was using his feelings against him, again.</p><p><br/>
“Even when I was running around the world to escape Hydra,” Bucky softly comments “I never just walked on a beach like this, just to enjoy it”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“It’s good to enjoy the small pleasures in life” Sam agrees.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You often find ways to push me out of my comfort zone”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Oh? I’m sorry”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Don’t be” Bucky says “I trust you”<br/>
There’s a small smile on Bucky’s face, the moon seems to reflect brightly in his eyes.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam looks back to the beach and where the water relentlessly come and go.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Let’s go back” he proposes, taking off his shoes so he can hold them in one hand and feel the sand under his feet.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky takes a second but does the same except he walks close enough to the sea that his feet gets wet.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You’ll have to dry this before coming inside the hotel, man” Sam warns.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky doesn’t care, he likes the sensation too much so he looks at Sam, sees him take a step away and frown. Sam is afraid that Bucky will put him in the water, he can tell,<br/>
<br/>
He gets closer and Sam moves away again so it becomes a game of cat and mouse for the twenty seconds it takes Bucky to catch the cautious man bridal style.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“BARNES! NO!” Sam screams in between laughs and attempts to escape.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You’ll have to dry more than your feet, sweetheart”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
With that, he tries to throw him in the water but is unsuccessful as Sam seems to transform into a human snake, his grip iron clad on him and his legs almost up in the sky at a ridiculous angle.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I’ll kill you Buck! I swear I’m gonna-”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam doesn’t have the possibility to end his sentence, Bucky grabbed both of their shoes and threw them away before running into the water.<br/>
The coldness makes Sam scream for as long as the salty liquid doesn’t fill his mouth, which is not for long.<br/>
He has no other choice but to let go of Barnes but they still end up a bit tangled before finally being able to catch their breath.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I hate you” Sam spits, coughing a few times.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sure, Pal”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
He can see Bucky, hair plastered against his forehead, his big smile, that poor shirt, Sam is sure he is the one who accidentally popped one of the buttons because of his ineffective tentative to escape him earlier.<br/>
<br/>
There’s words his brain starts to supply that his mouth refuses to say and he knows this is becoming “a moment” because he stares, they are facing each other, the waves crashing on their tights and Sam is staring at Bucky like he needs to burn this image in his brain. Reluctantly, he turns his head away.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Gonna catch a cold, let’s go”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
He can feel Bucky’s presence behind him as they make their way to the previously abandoned shoes before taking the direction of one of the resort’s entry.<br/>
<br/>
The two women at the reception desks look at them funny and Sam excuse himself plenty, hitting Bucky in the ribs so he does the same. At least they don’t have a lot of sand on their feet. He wiggles the wet card at them to prove that he has a stay here and they say nothing. He bets this isn’t the first time something like this arrives.<br/>
<br/>
Once inside the suite, Sam calls dibs on the bathroom but Bucky, like the child that he is, tries to race for it first. In a desperate attempt to actually make it before this annoying white man, Sam bumps him with his hip, sending Bucky away from the door, in shock as he fall on the ground dramatically.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Oh my god, Barnes are you okay? I’m so sorry!”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You hit me”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sorry, I’m truly- are you laughing?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky is indeed laughing so much his eyes are shut and he accidentally hit his head against the wall, which makes him laugh even more.<br/>
Sam isn’t sure what exactly is so funny, he could have hurt Barnes. What if he had fell and opened his head somehow?<br/>
<br/>
He comes closer, extend his arm so Bucky can take it and help himself getting on his feet again but the other man yank him on the ground, grabbing him to he actually is on his level and not falling on him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You’re getting real bold lately Sammy”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Gone is the laugh in his voice, it’s now low and slow, passed into some sort of molasses that make Sam’s heart to bump more loudly inside of him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“If you have the time to speak nonsense, you have the time to let me shower first, man”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
With that, Sam gets on his feet and turns away, starting to peel from his cold clothes before being fully inside the bathroom. He doesn’t even close the door but is somewhat startled when he hears Bucky speak from behind it, he assumes, since he is back to it.<br/>
They make conversation while Sam finishes, dry himself correctly and let Bucky get naked himself before stepping inside the shower in turn. Of course Sam put his eyes away the second he noticed that Bucky would actually take out his boxer. He is actually proud of himself for not taking a single peep.<br/>
After a minute, Sam leaves so he can go into the bedroom to find a shirt he can use to sleep in his suitcase. Bucky arrives a few minutes later, towel against his hips, looking for everything they bought earlier.<br/>
<br/>
Sam really doesn’t care about what Bucky is doing so he only instructs him to turn off the light once he is done while he lays on the large bed and slips under the covers.<br/>
<br/>
When Sam is tired, really tired, and his sleep is heavy, he tends to move a bit more than usually. His body doesn’t register that there’s someone sleeping next to him, let alone that this person is James Barnes. They never had to sleep in the same bed until now so Sam did not get any specific reflex yet. For his unconscious body, there’s something hard yet soft producing heat and heat is nice so he should get closer, but not too close, here, like that, at arm and maybe a leg on it but that’s it.<br/>
<br/>
There’s something here that isn’t quite soft however. It’s not unpleasant under the finger per say, it’s just- what is it? If he moves to the right it’s soft again. Skin? But if he moves to the left...</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I would say to buy a guy diner first before gripping them but you kind of actually did”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam opens his eyes slowly, there’s the sheet, then a large patch of skin in front of his sight. It’s a back, Barnes’s,  and his own hand is right where a metal plate leading to his vibranium arm disappears under his skin.<br/>
<br/>
He slowly takes his hand away, not in horror of Bucky’s body but of what he just did.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sorry,” he whispers, his voice hoarse, “I didn’t mean to”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“S’fine. Just not use to it”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I shouldn’t have, I swear I didn’t try to- shit”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Relax Sam, I know, I can tell you were still asleep. If anything, you make me want a massage” Bucky says with a smile, turning so he can face Sam. “I’m not sure I would trust a lot of people to do it thought. In Wakanda they had this guy who gave the best massage I ever had. To train myself to use the new arm, I tried to give myself massages too, then I did it on my goats, that’s why they love me”<br/>
Sam is kind of lost in the story, the idea of Bucky giving a massage to a goat is both perplexing and hilarious. Still, he is grateful he didn’t do anything too bad, even if he keeps his hands to himself now.<br/>
Sensing his slight discomfort, Bucky adds “I’m hungry”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam nods and yawn, Bucky moves to sit on the bed rather than laying and Sam can’t help but catch the vision of skin that should probably be covered by a boxer if it was on.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Barnes, you wearing something down there?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“No. It was wet and I didn’t want to use another boxer just to sleep”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Okay,” is the only thing Sam can think of saying unless he wants to have a fight with the other man. Doesn’t mean that the fight doesn’t come to him anyway.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You’re uncomfortable”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“No”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I don’t care that you like men, you know? I don’t think that just because of it you look at me like that, differently”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Is this a game?” Sam sits on the bed, grateful Bucky covers his junk “are you here, naked, to prove something? Because let me tell you, you not being openly racist is already more than I asked for, so-”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“What? What the hell are you talking about” Bucky interrupts with a slight panic in his tone.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam looks him in the eyes, a warning in his tone “Guys like you pretend to be okay and that’s we’re just dudes being dudes but I know how it goes”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky has a second of shock before matching Sam’s defensiveness “And how exactly does it goes with dudes like me, Wilson?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You lie, and when you’re tired of messing with people like me you show your ass”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I show my- you want me to show my ass? Look at it then!” Bucky jumps on the bed, mooning Sam who doesn’t know if he should hit him or keep his hand on his eyes.</p><p><br/>
“BARNES”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Fuck you, Sam, I’m outta here”</p><p>At first Sam hears Bucky loudly get his things and maybe this is the sound of someone jumping in their pants so he risks his eyes open, only to catch Bucky’s own eyes are he tries to button up his jeans. Visibly, he still has no underwear so there’s some hair saying hello in his pubic region.<br/>
<br/>
“No, you know what, you’re fucking wrong, Wilson. You’re, fucking, WRONG. I am not playing or lying. I just didn’t want to put a stupid boxer to sleep, I didn’t thought it was a big deal, okay? But you don’t get to project that shit on me. That’s not me. That’s not me!” Barnes repeats, his voice breaking.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam has to get a hold of the situation because Bucky is getting emotional and behind his words, there’s something. He doesn’t know what, but his earlier assumption about the man facing him seems to genuinely hurt him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Okay, maybe I’m wrong Buck, but how do I know? Uh? How am I supposed to believe that this is just a misunderstanding?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You think you invented being closeted and having to deal with that fear?!”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“What?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“What?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
They look at each other and the more time goes, the more Bucky’s face and attitude change to something that dangerously remembers Sam of the Winter Soldier. He isn’t sure if he is dissociating or something else but at least a part of Bucky’s mind is trying to escape the situation.<br/>
Did Sam understood correctly? Is Bucky...</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Buck-”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Fuck you, Wilson” he says, his tone cold as ice as he drills holes into Sam’s skull.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I am sorry if I misjudged you, James, but can you put yourself in my shoes for a minute? Please, can you do that? I got outed and you show up, we are barely friends and- and- man, come on”<br/>
<br/>
Sam really doesn’t want to cry but his eyes sure are misty, just like Bucky’s, shining from tears threatening to fall.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Why do you think I came here? I get it. I get you” Bucky admits “I played the part so well you think I’m the fucking worse”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry. Defense mechanism”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Yeah- yeah”, he wipes his eyes “I get it. I’m- I’m gonna go”<br/>
<br/>
“Buck, wait” Sam says urgently, walking to the other man fast.<br/>
He has to grab Bucky’s shoulder first before taking him in his arms “Don’t”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky hesitates, bring one arm first against Sam’s back, then the other one “I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought it would just click..- that you would know somehow- ”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sorry to disappoint”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“No. Jesus, Sam, no. I’m the one being stupid. I tried to tell you, even before yesterday, but I’m not that brave”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Hey now,” Sam put his hands on Bucky’s neck so he looks at him “it just mean we need to properly talk, that’s not the end of the world. Means nothing about you being brave or not. I said nothing either, remember?”</p><p><br/>
His attempt at lighting up the mood seems to works as Bucky let’s put a soft chuckle “Fuck, I came here to support you and look where we are”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Hugging, while you have no underwear”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“It does bother you!” Bucky accuses playfully.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“No, it’s just that we aren’t friends enough for me to totally desexualize you in my mind” Sam continues to joke.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Something passes over Bucky’s face, Sam has no idea what it is but he knows for certain whatever moment they just had is over. Once again, he has the feeling that he messed up something but doesn’t know what.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Bathroom” Barnes says, grabbing his new bag full of the clothes Sam and him bought the previous day.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
During the time it takes for Bucky to get out, Sam is anxious about him leaving. The first thing he says when he sees him again, is “Please stay the rest of the week”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky thinks about it, bag still in his hand “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable again”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Jesus, Barnes, drop the motherfucking bag and let’s just find something to eat. If you want to leave after, I promise I won’t stop you but if you want to stay, you can just- stay”<br/>
<br/>
It’s so weird, Sam notices, in missions they felt into a good team dynamics really easily, as if they worked together for a long time before. In groups, they do well, they bicker, yes, but it’s never really bad or mean spirited. Now however, there’s a shift in their dynamic as they speak.<br/>
<br/>
Bucky came to him because they shared a part of their identity, or at least, that’s what Sam supposes, what if the man is asexual? Or something not involving being attracted to men at all? Sam has to consider that he is, in fact, projecting.<br/>
The more time passes in silence, the more unsure Sam gets.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky puts the bag down slowly “Ok”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Ok? Sam will apparently have to work with that. In turn, he makes his way in the bathroom, the water doesn’t do much to bring him more clarity but at least once he is done, he feels like he can attack the day.<br/>
<br/>
They have several options for breakfast but out of all possibilities, Sam wants to try the one he has been recommended when he arrived. This horribly decorated Tea room really proposes a lot of delicious looking pastries.<br/>
Good thing that woman warned Sam about this place looking a mess because otherwise, he wouldn’t have dared to put a feet in it.<br/>
It’s clean, don’t get him wrong, but there’s not a single coherent thing in the customers area. Even the tables are all different in size and style.<br/>
<br/>
Bucky gives him a look but follows him to sit as they look at the menu.<br/>
<br/>
Sam is not a gourmet expert but he knows this croissant has been homemade and by someone knowing their stuff too. He is a bit shocked at how good this is.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I take every bad things I said about this place”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“What are you talking about?” Sam asks Bucky whose first “pain au chocolat” is long gone but he has a distracting chocolate stains near his lips “You said nothing since we arrive”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, but I thought plenty, believe me”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam needs to be careful about what he eats but this place is the Devil made pastries and he needs just one more, the last, he promises.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Have you planned something for today?” Bucky asks him, eyes unable to rest to only one spot.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam is glad, he tells him, before proceeding to explain that there’s dunes less than an hour from here by driving. The pictures he saw of the place almost look like another country altogether.<br/>
He hopes it’s different enough from the ones he had to fight in, one time, when he was deployed. It’s hard to reclaim the beauty of small things when they have been tainted by blood and death.<br/>
<br/>
Bucky decides to be the one driving since he refuses to stop using his phone like Sam did.<br/>
<br/>
It’s also why he is the one deciding which way to go to get to said dune since they have to either walk for half an hour by the official road, which is what other tourists are doing clearly, or that “shortcut” Bucky can clearly see on this weird ass map app he uses that would make them go through the woods but also cut the time by two.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Are you sure about this?” Sam half asks half complains even if he is already following the other man.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“It’s on the map” is what Bucky grunts while they make their way in their flip flops. They aren’t made to walk there, that’s for sure.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
All in all, it is indeed a shortcut that lead them to the dunes.<br/>
From where they arrive, they see no way to get on top of it outside of climbing that unpleasant looking angle by themselves.<br/>
Sam realize quite immediately that this is going to be hell as the sand seems hellbent on ruining each step he takes by lowering them both in depth and distance. To no surprise, Bucky doesn’t act that bothered and actually chuckled when Sam dramatically lays on the sand.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I won’t make it”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Come on pal, you already made one third of it”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“ONE THIRD?! Dude, leave me behind, I’m not feeling well”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Of course, Sam wouldn’t just stay there so every couples of minutes or so, he would take a few steps before having to stop again under Bucky’s encouragements</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“We’re halfway”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Oh my god. Maybe it’s cursed sand that just sap your energy?” Sam proposes, making Bucky just laugh at him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I see people over there”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Well, it doesn’t help Sam climb faster now; does it? Still, after what feels like an hour, Sam actually manages to join his friend at the top, once against, falling to his knees so he could give his tights on fire some well deserved rest.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I think I might throw up”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky walks to him and gives him a hand to he can stand “You were right thought, the view is beautiful”</p><p><br/>
Behind them, the pines forest, on each side the dunes, sand a pale yellow and in front of them, even if it’s a bit far, the sea.<br/>
<br/>
Sam is holding his knees but he does feel sort of rejuvenated. He could forget about all his troubles up there, could stay here for hours without a care in the world. And yet, he can’t forget. They won’t let him forget either once he is back on the field.</p><p><br/>
“I’m bi,” he says, seemingly out of the blue. Bucky looks at the side of his face, silent and waiting for more “always has been. Lately I started wondering if I wasn’t gay and hiding behind compulsory heterosexuality somehow. I’m still searching for my own answers”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
The silence between them seems heavy but Sam knows Bucky must be looking for what to say.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I think, for me, being attracted to women is all an act. It felt like a matter of life or death back then”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“So, do you consider yourself gay?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I guess”<br/>
Bucky takes a deep breath “I’m not ready to tell anyone else yet, but Steve knows”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam just nods, taking in this new piece of information. It shouldn’t change anything, but it does, because there’s a new level of trust between them. At least for him, it means that they can be themselves around each other without pretending like they may have done a few times before.<br/>
<br/>
They decide to walk in the same direction as the other tourists, not without Sam taking a jab at Bucky for finally following people. Barnes threaten to push him down the dune if he doesn’t shut up.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Back to the resort, Sam has the conviction that he is done hiding who he is. To most people he appreciates, lying about being straight just came as the default. The others, he doesn’t care what they think, they will always have opinions anyway.<br/>
<br/>
He breaks his number one rule and gets to his phone.<br/>
Bucky isn’t sure what to do when Sam starts to call various people, sitting in the living room but since he doesn't isolate himself, maybe it means he is supposed to stay there too.<br/>
<br/>
The first persons Sam calls are his mom, his brother and his sister, at the same time. Then it’s Steve, then Sharon. Every conversation eventually starts out the same “Yes, I like men. If that’s not okay with you, I’ll just have to cut you out of my life”. It may be a little bit shocking to Bucky because he knows how much he love them, but he understand why Sam feel the need to put up that wall. He already has to deal with so much ignorance and hate by being the new Captain America, a Black Captain at that, he will get chewed out for not being straight.<br/>
<br/>
“I just don’t have the luxury, the time or the will to argue with people about my identity” Sam says after he ended his first round of call, to answer the questioning look on Bucky's face.<br/>
<br/>
He ends with Misty and it just doesn’t have the same vibe at all, but, Bucky thinks, it’s because they dated.<br/>
From what he gathers from the bit of conversation he hears, and he does hears a lot actually thanks to the super serum, she called him out on it several time when they where dating. Whatever Sam did to protect his secret put a dent in their relationship. Even if they are back to being friend now, it will never exactly be the same as before.<br/>
<br/>
Sam looks drained when he is done, turning off his phone once again after having ignored the dozen other notifications popping up.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Hey Sam,” he says low enough to get the tired man to turn his eyes on him “let’s just stay in tonight. What do you think?”</p><p>With a relieved nod, Sam agrees.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
The day started so well, Sam thinks, and here it is, emotionally empty. His sister and mother thought this David guy was a liar, he wasn’t. Sharon didn’t say much outside of feeling sorry for him. Steve said that he will always be the same Sam to him but knew how pissed his friend was at having his privacy thrown to the public eyes.<br/>
Misty left him feel like he was an impostor, even if she didn’t blame him, at least, not anymore.<br/>
<br/>
All he can think about are these conversations so Bucky taking the lead is very welcomed. In fact, Sam doesn’t fully get in the here and now until he is ready to go to bed and Bucky doesn’t follow.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Maybe you need to be alone tonight”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Maybe I need someone next to me. Ever thought about that, Barnes?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sheesh, that’s how you ask a guy to sleep with you, Wilson?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Only the annoying one who assume things incorrectly”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Bucky walks past him, into the bedroom “That’s rich, coming from you”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
When they both lay, Sam notices that Bucky keeps his boxer on. He can only keep his mouth shut about it for two minutes “You don’t have to sleep with something on, if it bothers you”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“So after that invitation to sleep here, you get that amazing line to get me naked. You truly have a way with words, Bird man”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You know what, go sleep on the couch, you’re so annoying” then he adds in a grumble “That’s what I get for trying to be nice with your stupid ass”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I heard that”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I know, Metallo”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam closes his eyes, his back to Bucky. He does hear some shuffling behind him, then the other man finally choose a position before letting out a discreet sight of satisfaction. Now, Sam just have to relax.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
The next morning, Sam wakes up feelings good and well rested, he doesn’t realize that he left the dream realm right away.<br/>
It last a few seconds before a wave of surprise pleasure make him simultaneously chuckle and arch his back into something solid.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“hmmm babe” Sam purrs, as a hand expertly caresses a nipple.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
He turns, his excitation deliciously pressing against another solid (?) and really, when his lips find others lips, all of this without really having opened his eyes, Sam doesn’t notice right away that this is not something that should be happening. It’s four second into that lips locks, when the pressure of the “solid” looks way too realistically like a human body and-<br/>
<br/>
They look at each other, focus hard for a sec to emerge from whatever sweet place they where basking in to slam back into reality.<br/>
<br/>
They kissed, their hands are on each other like they have no business to be. Bucky frowns, hard, something cold emanates from him so strongly Sam blinks awake in a second.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Did we just-”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Kiss? Yes”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry.,” Sam immediately starts, putting himself in a sitting position, his loose tank top barely covering his chest and here it it, his hard nipple standing for attention. He sees Bucky’s eyes go from his face to his chest, he looks just as stormy or maybe even more ready to turn into anger, Sam believes “I thought I was dreaming, I swear, I didn't do it on purpose”<br/>
<br/>
Sam almost fall from the bed, stands, and now it’s his nether region that caught Bucky’s eyes and his eyebrow shoot up quickly at what Sam can only interpret as horror.<br/>
It really shakes something inside of him, being looked like that by Bucky. It’s brutal.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Sam?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
He bites his lips, tries to find something to say and this stupid dick still protuberant in his boxer doesn’t help.<br/>
It’s unbelievable, he thinks, Barnes is a trained assassin, Sam hasn’t been drugged so how did he get so comfortable sleeping next to this man? To the point of grinding against him and kiss him? How did <strong>Bucky</strong> let that happen?<br/>
There’s no way.<br/>
No.way.<br/>
<br/>
Bucky lays back, totally, shut his eyes and mask them with the palm of his hands.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Is this the part where you say to forget everything?” Bucky asks, low and already defensive.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“This is the part when I want to shut up actually” Sam answers, this is stupid, this is just an accident, Bucky didn’t want any of this, they must have had similar dreams, that’s it.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell your future boyfriend about this”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Sam is confused and wonders where does this come from. A boyfriend? Where did he get that idea. The video, his mind supplies, the freaking video where he confesses his feelings.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You sound so dumb right now”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“On this topic, who is the lucky guy?”<br/>
In retrospect, why wouldn’t Bucky want to know? They came out to each other, he probably assumes that this isn’t a reach of a question.<br/>
“Scott or T’Challa? Because I really understand why you wouldn’t tell it to them” Bucky comments, fully changing the topic and leaving Sam blinking “Scott has one hell of a girlfriend, T’Challa is a King and in love with Nakia”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You know what? Maybe I should let you marinate on that, looks like you got it all figured out”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Don’t give me that, Sam. Thought we were bonding, becoming the bestest of friends or something”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam has to laugh. This is getting better and better. Best friends? He has no intention in becoming best friend with Barnes. He can’t. It won’t work.<br/>
But that’s what is going on, they are working really well together, get used to each other presence, that invisible wall between is destroyed and all Sam got left is this stupid secret he almost revealed when distressed and in shock anyway. As long as he tries to keep the truth hidden, this is something people can use against him and that may come out at the worst moment.<br/>
<br/>
It’s just Bucky.<br/>
<br/>
It’s just Bucky.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s you”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
It’s fascinating to see Bucky’s face goes through several form of confusion in rapid succession. He seems to set up to incredulity, putting a large smile on his face while pointing to Sam with a vibranium finger “Ah ah, really funny, you almost got me there”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam just stares at him for a moment. Well. “You hungry, we could go back near the dunes, saw you looking at that pastry shop yesterday”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You sure?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Yes”</p><p><br/>
Bucky gives him another smile, one of joy and anticipation. When he jumps out of the bed, as naked as his first day on earth, Sam says nothing, just follows his form grabbing clothes in his suitcase and make his way to the bedroom.<br/>
<br/>
“Idiot” Sam whispers.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
The following days goes by quickly, it really seems to go faster when you’re having fun, Sam tells himself when they go back to their regular life.<br/>
<br/>
Bucky took his declaration as a joke and teased him about it more than once, it’s not mean spirited, more along the lines of stealing some of Sam ice cream that he bought with his own money and saying things like “Don’t you share with the man you love?” when Sam gives him a dirty look or taking one of Sam’s shirt and saying “boyfriends shares clothes” when Sam complains that he is going to ruin it.<br/>
<br/>
For a crazy second, Sam wonders if Bucky is messing with him and pulled a reverse idiot card but last night, Bucky asked again about who the message was for so, no, the metal armed man doesn’t understand that Sam was not laughing.<br/>
It doesn’t really matter at first because when he is back, some people wants answers about his sexuality and who he has fallen for. Sam has one answer for them, should it be the press or anybody that isn’t a close friend.<br/>
<br/>
“Mind your business”<br/>
<br/>
He thought it would change how the public views him but, nope, still the same except with people trying to use his Schrödinger LGBT+ membership as a way too attack or defend him.<br/>
The only one Sam would tell the whole truth, other than Bucky, would be Steve as of now. One week since coming back and he still hasn’t answered that last message he got from his old friend.<br/>
“Wanna go grab dinner? When you’re ready”.<br/>
<br/>
He only says yes when the villain du jour decides to use homophobic slurs against him on National TV. Sam doesn’t comment on them but he does make him fly a little so he can refresh his idea on the topic. It’s way harder to say nonsense when you’re falling to your death and pissing your very expensive Kevlar laced pants.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
Once of the ground, the villain physically safe, he looks him in the eye, make sure he knows he isn’t one to be played with. There's isn't a single word necessary on his end even if, actually, he has to stop Bucky from killing him in cold blood because he saw and heard everything and Sam can tell it reminded him of things he had rather kept forgotten.<br/>
<br/>
So, yeah, he accepts Steve’s dinner proposition in his Brooklyn apartment. He knows Bucky leaves somewhere in the neighborhood but he never been to his place so far since he moved out from Steve’s.<br/>
<br/>
The old man has weird moments where he acts like his younger self and not a all like the ninety something he is supposed to be and other where he plays the part of a frail old man perfectly. Sam has no idea if this is an act or due to the serum but what he knows is that the serum is weaker now. Is it because of time or some weird tinkering? Sam wouldn’t ask.<br/>
<br/>
They talk about everything and nothing, clearly dancing around the elephant in the room like only good friends can. “I know you know I know” type of things. It’s funny.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Buck told me about your assumptions, you know, on the type of guy he was” Steve says once they finished the tea he prepared “Told me you two cleared the air”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Can’t fault a guy for being too careful” Sam answers with a detached smile, far from how he felt during that specific argument with Bucky.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Do you think that of me as well? Because I stayed?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Sam can’t stop the scoff past his mouth but decides to not let it be his only answer, they had that conversation already “I mean, choices were made”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Choices were made” Steve repeats slowly, all of his body focusing on Sam exclusively.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“We talked about this already man, you know how it ends”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
They did, it is actually one of the rare time they got angry at each other. To this day, the scar on their friendship is still tender. Sam knows his reasons but it still doesn’t make it one hundred percent okay in his book.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Steve rubs his hairless chin, plays with his spoon, “Let’s talk about that message instead”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Really subtle”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“That’s my strong suit,” Steve says without missing a bit “people speculate an awful lot about who it was destined to. Do you know there’s online bets about it? Articles? Theories even. Suddenly you made it into the top ten most popular male celibate of the United States”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Should I be flattered? Because I’m not”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
There’s another bit of silence, Steve clearly trying to get to his point without getting on his friend's nerves and Sam purposely not making it any more easy for him just because he is petty.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Is it me?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“You wish”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Okay”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
What is that supposed to mean? “You look like you don’t care, yet, it was on your mind so much that you called me here to ask me”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Steve gets up from the table to put their tea cup in the sink “I don’t think our friendship would have survived that. Not after what I done. You already know I’m not interested in men anyway”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
The truth is not pretty, they both already know that but there’s this very special kind of hurt when someone tells you "no" about something you weren’t even asking. Of course he knows Steve is as straight as one can be, but outside of the first couple of minutes when they met, he never looked at Steve like that so why did he thought it could be him? Is that because he accused him of abandoning him when he left? What? Someone can’t be mad their friend left to live a life without them without being in love? The fuck.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, now that you’re relieved to know that I don’t love you, I’m gonna go”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
“I’m sorry. If I was attracted to men, I would be happy to catch your attention and-”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
“Don’t. Please don’t”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Steve is about to say something then changes his mind. Sam gets his things before leaving without saying anything more.</p><p>Fuck him. “If I was attracted to men…”, no, fuck that shit. This isn’t a compliment, this mean virtually nothing. He can’t believe he came here just for this, well, in fact he can, people close to him wants to know about it but most of them have the sense to actually not ask. Steve Rogers however, doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Once he reaches his place, he is still thinking about it when he gets an incoming video call from Bucky. It’s rare enough that he answers it only to be met with someone shaking and laughing.</p><p> </p><p>“Wilson? Wilson! Oh damn, I’m at Steve”</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect”</p><p> </p><p>“This- This punk- ” Bucky seems unable to control his laugh and Sam can make out Steve annoyed voice in the background “Steve, you said enough,” then back to Sam “He just told me he made you come here to- wow, what an idiot- to ask you if HE was the guy you loved. Him!”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know why the fuck not” the old man says, his voice seems closer now.</p><p> </p><p>“You?! You think Sam would be in love with you? Sorry but he has tastes, and eyes, and a brain”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me? Like you’re one to talk! He’d rather date me, even looking like a grandpa than you” Steve says with bravado.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky’s shocked face could make Sam smile if he wasn’t shaking his head with exasperation.</p><p>“Maybe I’m low on his list, but you’re definitely lower with your dried raisin looking face. Sam, tell him I’m higher than him”</p><p> </p><p>“Yep, you sure are” Sam answers with an even tone.</p><p> </p><p>“You hear that? He can’t hear properly Sammy, tell it again please” Bucky moves the phone and grabs Steve so he can see too.</p><p> </p><p>“You are higher than Steve on my list”</p><p> </p><p>Not one to back down, Steve insist, “You only say this because you’re mad at me”</p><p> </p><p>Sam rolls his eyes “You know what, I’m gonna hang up. Bye y’all”. He swears he can feel the start of a migraine, what did he do to deserve these two? It’s a divine punishment, for sure.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Scott always brags about his best friend Luis knowing all the best spots on the east coast. It’s “Luis told me about this place” this and “The gang and I went to that amazing place” that at least one time per conversation with him. If anyone tells you that Scott Lang doesn’t love his friends, that person is lying.</p><p>Occasionally, he manages to convince a member of the team to come to one of these small gathering for a nice time. Tonight, it’s Bucky, who then proceeds to get Sam to come too with a well-placed “You know I’m socially awkward, and you always say that I need to make friends, so, let’s go”. They had a rough mission the previous day so while Sam would be happy staying home, he decides that this isn’t that bad of an idea.</p><p>This bar-club is what people call “Neutral” which means that the police and authority alike can’t come here to arrest the clientele while the eventual criminals can’t mess the place or do anything shady here, under any circumstances. This type of places is slowly starting to pop up here and there but the government allows them under very strict rules. The lucky owners of the golden licence to open one of them are almost sure to make good bank if they manage to get everyone to behave.</p><p>Out of the three of them, Sam unfortunately has the most recognizable face, especially with how said face has been the topic of the hottest gossips barely two weeks earlier to remind everyone of who, exactly, is the new Captain America. He should have used his face mask but told himself "Not tonight" knowing he would end up regretting it. One of the two barmen, the bouncer and a few patron recognizes him as soon as they see him. Some don’t care, some seems quite excited. The bouncer must have warned the owner because she appears out of seemingly nowhere, the woman, probably in her fifties, smiles at them. The side and the back of her head is bald but she keeps long, green, blue and grey hair in a tight ponytail on top of it. Her tan skin manages to be glowing under the club’s lights and almost seems to reflect the metallic gold of her shirt, the only touch of color of her whole outfit.</p><p>“Mister Wilson, we didn’t expect you tonight” she welcomes, just a bit tense, trying to recognizes the other and clearly doing so with Scott and Luis but that’s it. It doesn’t surprise Sam, Hope and Ava would probably avoid these type of place too and Bucky always has his mask on when he is on a mission.</p><p>“Do you already know our establishment and its- rules?”</p><p> </p><p>“I briefed them,” Scott quickly reassures “I mean, him. I briefed him. Told him you got the best sangria in town”</p><p> </p><p>She looks quite pleased by the flattery, yet again, Scott's seemingly innocent face wins someone's heart “A man of taste, mister-”</p><p> </p><p>“Lang, but you can call me Scott” he says, unaware of his girlfriend rolling her eyes at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I guess I should put you at our best table tonight”</p><p> </p><p>She guides them to that one table that allows you to see almost all of the bar with an exit door close to them. How thoughtful.</p><p>If Sam is being honest, the place is somewhat nice and the sangria is actually excellent. Bucky went with tequila but he does eye the glass Sam is nursing so he pushes it toward his friend who takes it without a fuss. Sam smiles at how confused Bucky looks at the jug before pouring more of it into the glass and taking another sip.</p><p>“It’s good right?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s- decent”</p><p> </p><p>“So decent that you are knocking half of it all by yourself, all right Barnes”</p><p> </p><p>“You share glasses? Damn, you two are sweet on each other” Luis comments suddenly, making the other two pause then look at each other and finally, said glass. “Even Scott and Hope don’t do that”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me, I’ll let you know we are sweeter than them” Scott scoffs, taking Hope’s hand in his.</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t a competition you know?” she notes, still making sure to put her head on his shoulder. It’s not a competition but if it was one, she would win.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky mumbles something Sam can’t hear, instead of dwelling on it, he warns the group that he is going to take a refill on the sangria.</p><p>There isn’t a lot of people dancing but more than one are swaying or bumping their head with the music, just at the right volume so you could talk without difficulties. Sam patiently waits behind a couple when the black woman in front of him notices him and whispers something in the ear of her boyfriend who turns to look at Sam with a smile. Who asked for the heir of a mafia-tied family? Not him.</p><p> </p><p>“Mister Wilson?”</p><p> </p><p>Trying to just be polite and get his sangria, Sam answers “Yes”</p><p> </p><p>“This is Andrew Bolt and I’m Sandy, soon to be Bolt too. It’s fascinating how more handsome you are in real life, isn’t it honey?” the woman says, looking at him from head to toe, a gesture her partner shares without any once of shame.</p><p> </p><p>“I couldn’t have said it better myself. What a chance meeting you here. May we offer you a drink? It would be an honor”</p><p>Sam raises his eyebrows, missing the barman looking at him and his chance for his actual refill. He has no idea what these two are up to.</p><p>“Sorry,” Andrew says “may we be a little more direct? I believe this would be better for everyone”</p><p> </p><p>“Please do” Sam agrees, his perplexity still showing.</p><p> </p><p>“My fiancée and I would love to have- a private moment with you”</p><p> </p><p>That’s…interesting. At least, that’s what he would say if a muscular arm wasn’t sneaking around his neck and on his shoulder quite possessively.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that sangria coming, birdie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Umh, excuse me, we were having a moment” Sandy doesn’t hesitate to say, even as her future husband try to stop her “What? I know exactly who this is, doesn’t mean he can be rude”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky cocks his head to the side, “Oh?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam decides to ignore them and finally catch the attention of one of the barmen to get his drink however, remember that possessive arm around his neck that gave him just enough leeway to speak to the barman? Now, that arms slowly goes to his waist and bring him right against Bucky, his back to the other man’s chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Wilson?” he asks, low and threatening to the couple.</p><p> </p><p>Sam turns to face him, “Why are you-!” he can’t end this sentence because there’s a hand on his cheek and a very tender look facing him. He had no idea Bucky was this great of an actor. The other man never bat his eyelashes at him so he is a little bit surprised by it, and speechless for a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that how you treat your boyfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>“Boyfriend?!” the couple repeats, catching the attention of a few people.</p><p> </p><p>This moment would be perfect for Sam to clear up this whole joke they had going on for a moment. Bucky’s fake flirting moments, Sam using him as a way to deflect uncomfortable conversations, he could just say the truth. What actually goes out of his mouth his “Do you have a better offer than them?”</p><p> </p><p>Truly, Sam should have known that Bucky’s stupid ass would take it as a challenge, so does he complain when the hand on his cheek becomes a hand on his neck and he is brought to Bucky’s lips? No. He could have stopped it, really, but why would he do that? These lips on his are electrifying his whole body and, close as they are, there’s no way Bucky doesn’t feel the slowly pulsing awoken dick in Sam’s pants. No, he must feel it because he smiles and chuckles into the kiss and Sam is losing his mind at the pressure Bucky’s tight apply against him.</p><p> </p><p>“I always have the better offer, Wilson. Don’t you forget”</p><p> </p><p>“You have- arguments” Sam concedes, his tone steady but his body singing a whole other song that Bucky can see clear as day, as well as a whole part of the club witnessing that exchange.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god,” Sandra exclaims “The message! The message was for the Soldier!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, uh, congratulations. Sand, let’s go” Andrew quickly adds, grabbing the shocked woman to leave before the interaction turns even more awkward.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky look at them, his whole attitude more cold suddenly. Gone is the smile, the kiss and the warmth of his body against Sam. When his eyes move back to the black man, he frowns.</p><p> </p><p>“I think we need to talk”</p><p> </p><p>It isn’t a suggestion, Bucky grabs Sam by the arm and make his way toward the exit. "My sangria" Sam tries weakly, people move out of the way and even their friends only give them worried looks without physically getting on Bucky’s path. Why does he have to be so dramatic? Sam could follow him on his own without the bar gawking at them. Even the bouncer opens the door for them, making the cold air hit them before stepping outside.</p><p>It takes them two more minutes before Barnes seems satisfied with the relative level of intimacy of the place he chooses and finally let go of Sam.</p><p>“Who was the message for?”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on man, you still don’t know?”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you were joking Sam! You looked me dead in the eye and just said “It’s you” like that. Who confesses this way?! That was shit. How was I supposed to believe it?!”</p><p> </p><p>Sam looks and waits for him to finish before speaking “And you made a running joke out of it. The fact that I messed up and didn’t send the message must have been divine intervention but the devil works hard and I still got caught”</p><p> </p><p>“When did you plan to tell me you love me?” Bucky asks impatiently, biting his lower lip for a second. “You weren’t? You didn’t want me to know at all” he accuses then at Sam’s lack of answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Man, Buck’, I was planning to do it after my week away but you just popped up and the whole thing messed me up”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky seems more surprised “How so?”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought it was just- I don’t know,” he laughs to himself “a heavy crush or something. I didn’t know it was Love with a capital L until you stayed with me at the resort. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, I’m not putting that on you Barnes”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop calling me Barnes, and the only thing you should not be putting is walls between us, I never wanted them in the first place”</p><p> </p><p>“What? And laying all my love on you?” Sam scoffs, a bit unsure at where this is going. Yet, Bucky seems more sure of himself by the second now but more than that, the smile he gives him is benevolent and genuine.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I want it all actually. Now give me a kiss and I mean the real deal, Sammy”</p><p> </p><p>A grown man like Sam shouldn’t feel this hot under his clothes because of a pet names, he thinks, but here we are. He kisses Bucky against the building wall for a moment that seems out of time and out of space, if you omit the sound of traffic in the background. Still, he can’t quite believe this is happening. His hand finds a patch of hot skin on Bucky’s back, under his hoodie and above his ass. Sam hesitates then, fearing he is going too far, too fast.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe you let me joke about that for weeks” Bucky whispers against his lips, then he separates from Sam, putting more distance between their bodies “I wish you would have said something. I was jealous over nothing, doll, I almost fought with Steve over that, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky passes a hand in his hair, a grin appearing on his face “Wanna make it up to me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like that face. In fact, I want to say no”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but you’ll say yes. Come with me, no question asked”</p><p> </p><p>Sam knows with every fibbers of his body that he is going to regret following this man but he still does, this love is going to get him into so much troubles, he can tell. Well, it already did, didn’t it?</p><p> </p><p>This sudden and unexpected turn of event perplexes Sam a lot, Bucky seems pleased to know the truth but his inner saboteur waits for him to actually think about it and realize that he has no intention dating Sam. Is he flattered? Visibly, he is. Does it means he is somewhat interested? Sam has no idea. He should ask, right? A functional adult should be able to say “Hey, so I have feelings for you, how do you actually feel about that?”</p><p> </p><p>“So, Bucky- wait, isn’t that Steve’s building?”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky ignores him, getting out of the uber promptly, Sam right behind him. Why would Bucky come here? Is that because Sam and Steve are barely speaking lately? He follows the other man in silence inside because he has the keys to the place. They make their way to Steve’s floor and Bucky knocks on his door two times,  then after another beat, he adds one more.</p><p>“Buck?” Steve opens the door in a crimson silk robe he ties at the waist, there’s a feminine voice giggling inside.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” Bucky says, a foxy smile blossoming on his face “We aren’t coming at a right time it seems”</p><p> </p><p>Pink colors Steve’s cheeks as he takes a look behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, I was about to leave, the taxi will be here in a minute” a seemingly age appropriate woman with tan skin and curly hair announces, she has one shoe on already and the other one in her hand that she puts down to slide her feet into. She appears a bit hesitant as to how to say goodbye and they have that awkward moment where they go for a handshake while the other leans for a kiss on the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Sam blinks, eyebrows high on his forehead as the lady disappears with a kiss that was just a bit too close to the lips and a big smile on hers.</p><p> </p><p>“Umh, come in, I guess”</p><p> </p><p>If one of them is like a fish in water, it’s Bucky. Without being prompted, he has his nose in Steve’s fridge, fishing two beers for Sam and himself.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Stevie,” he grins, making evident that he is about to be a little shit about something “the evening was good?”</p><p> </p><p>“Y-Yes. Mathilde and I are taking dance lessons and she wanted to practice more. We are, uh friends”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh? You danced so much she lost her underwear under here?” Bucky questions, bending to pick something near the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Steve all but jumps to beat him to it but it was just a bold lie so Bucky starts to laugh shamelessly at his bets friend’s behavior. So Sam knows now that the old frail papy is an act. Steve tries to hit him, apparently not finding this funny at all. Sam thinks that if he looked, it has to be for a reason so-</p><p>“Okay, what are you doing here?” he asks grumpily.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Do we need a reason to see our best friend?”</p><p> </p><p>There, Sam and Steve look at each other, memories of their last fight, and more than that, the rift between them, very obvious. Sam still has no idea what Bucky is trying to do so he stays silent and takes a sip of the beer, his coat still on his back.</p><p> </p><p>“Spill it, punk”</p><p> </p><p>Oh, Bucky is savoring this. For someone who hates being the center of attention, he sure is milking this moment for all that its worth. Too bad it’s ending so soon.</p><p>Each of their phone start to blow at the same time, which could only mean one thing, a dangerous threat is upon them.</p><p>Or not.</p><p> </p><p>Sam sees the name of his sister so he isolates himself in the bathroom as he answers with a cautious “Hi sis, you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me?;” she replies, sounding quite surprised “are you okay? I’m so mad for you”</p><p> </p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“…You didn’t check the news in the last five minutes I guess. Oh Sam- they- they got you on video- again”</p><p> </p><p>“Doing what?! I can’t be worse that the first time” he tries, not even daring to check right now, eyes unfocused on the shower.</p><p> </p><p>“You want me to tell you or you want to find out?”</p><p> </p><p>At the same time, from the living room, he hears Bucky shouts “<strong>FUCK!</strong>”, something Sarah seems to hear.</p><p> </p><p>“I get you’re with the man of the hour”</p><p> </p><p>“What is going on?” he wonders, opening the door to go back to the two other men. Bucky looks furious, Steve is so pale he looks translucent almost.</p><p> </p><p>“You and James- you were kissing in a street” Sarah says just as Bucky spots Sam.</p><p> </p><p>The phone escapes Sam’s hand entirely, falling on the floor. Sam looks at it for a few seconds before he passes a hand on his face and bends to pick it up.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I- thanks for letting me know”</p><p> </p><p>Sarah can tell her brother isn’t going well but since he isn’t alone, she hopes James is going to get it together for both of their sake.</p><p> </p><p>“Call me later?”</p><p> </p><p>“Will do”</p><p> </p><p>He hangs up, putting his phone back in his pocket when Steve says, “Guess I know why you two came here. Sam, you okay? Sharon just told me you two are making news. Congratulation, by the way, I had no idea you two were- that’s great, really, I mean- are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sam, I’m sorry” Bucky cuts, completely disregarding Steve’s question.</p><p> </p><p>“S’not your fault Buck’”</p><p> </p><p>“I should have been more careful, I fucked up. I’ll make it right, I promise, I’ll find a way”</p><p> </p><p>“No” Sam interrupts, closing his eyes for a second as his phone starts to ring, again, he considers answering before changing his mind “I don’t care, they can think whatever, I’m done. If you want to explain that we aren’t together, do as you please”</p><p> </p><p>“We aren’t?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam has no idea why this is news to him, they kissed, he said he loved him but they are not together…right? No, they aren’t, they clearly hadn’t say that.</p><p> </p><p>“Man, why are you looking at me like that for? I told you I love you, you said you were okay with that and then came it to rub it in Steve’s face”</p><p> </p><p>“That we are together now, for heaven’s sake, You are so freaking dense Wilson, of course we are. Why would I say that I want your love if I wasn’t in love with you? You- dumbass pigeon”</p><p> </p><p>“Me?! The audacity” Sam scoffs “You couldn’t even tell I wasn’t kidding when- wait, what did you say?”</p><p> </p><p>During the tense silence between the two, Steve decides to chime in “I cannot believe you two kissed, came here to gloat and you can’t even agree on whether you are dating or not”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, man” Sam groans.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, shut up, Steve, this is just a technicality, apparently, Birdie needs a royal invitation to know I want to be with him, as a couple”</p><p> </p><p>Sam rolls his eyes “You are so extra, and for what?”</p><p> </p><p>“And yet, we are dating”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh”</p><p> </p><p>“Steve, what are you doing?” Bucky turns to his best friend who is holding his phone pointed toward them.</p><p> </p><p>Steve smiles, “Oh, hey guys” Sharon’s voice says “this is so entertaining, don’t mind me”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna beat your wrinkly ass” Bucky throws himself at Steve.</p><p> </p><p>“The disrespect, me first!” Sam says in turns, chasing around a very agile old man coughing in between his laughs.</p><p> </p><p>After saying goodbye to Sharon and made Steve regret trying to laugh at them during their first ~fight~ as a new couple, they leave his place in silence, next to each other until they reach the street.</p><p>They stop together like one man, standing there for a moment before Bucky asks if Sam prefers to be alone tonight or not.</p><p>“Yeah, I think I need to get my shit together”</p><p>Bucky nods, unable to repress the disappointment from coloring his eyes. Sam grabs him gently by the collar to bring their lips together for a short, yet incredibly sweet kiss “See you tomorrow?”</p><p> </p><p>The smile that blossoms on Bucky’s lips could light up a whole city, Sam thinks and before he goes his way, he steal one more peck just because he can. Sam looks at him go, all skinny jean and bombers and knows he’s gonna be okay.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>People had a lot to say about Sam Wilson’s bisexuality but it was nothing compared to the fact that, one, he was (allegedly) dating James Barnes, two, James Barnes was in fact gay, something he decided himself to let be known via the Avengers’s PR and three, if Sam had to date a man, it should have been a brother.</p><p>Of course, it wasn’t the only topics, suddenly, everyone was convinced that Bucky had been in love with Steve all along and that they had dated at some points. In fact, Steve was brought up a lot for someone supposedly dead to the world. According to a very popular (and yet so often wrong) gossip site, Bucky and Steve dated pre-war, separated, Steve fell in love with Peggy, got iced, found Sam, dated Sam, left Sam for Bucky when they saved him from Hydra and when Steve died Sam and Bucky found each other.</p><p>The difference was that they had a visual proof of “something” going on between them where everything else was nothing but speculation. It pissed Sam off that they had took and thrown to everyone this particular intimate moment and no one cared. Hell, some even thought it had been staged as if being outed was somehow a strategy that wouldn’t send their way hate and violence.</p><p> </p><p>Sam couldn’t resist, he looked at was they were saying, let Bruno from PR talk about what they could or should do. Either he denied and sort of lied, or he properly came out with the truth.</p><p>Well, he choose the third option, not saying a thing, not even to his friends and family until he knew if what was going on with Bucky would actually become something. And yeah, that short conversation out of the bar seemed to point toward them being an item but if there was one domain where Sam was stupidly insecure, it was romantic relationships.</p><p>So on the next day, Sam arrives at work as if he isn’t the hottest gossip around here. The only one having the courage to directly ask about it is Clint and Sam smiles at him with a “Do you want the position, Barton?” to which the archer, far from backing down, retaliated with a “Laura’s birthday is next month, maybe she would be down for a threesome as a present”</p><p>Other agents are gawking at them, even if they should already be used to their type of humor. Barnes, however, isn’t amused…at all.</p><p> </p><p>Appearing out of seemingly nowhere in the large sunny hall, Bucky Barnes walks right to them, agents pushing themselves around to make sure they aren’t in the way whatsoever “<strong>Ah ah</strong>” he says humorlessly and obnoxiously loud “<strong>very funny guys</strong>”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Clint continued without any sense of self-preservation “as of now, Sam is single, right? So why not shot my shot?”</p><p> </p><p>“Who said anything about him being single? Go bother someone else”</p><p> </p><p>“I would never have pegged the Winter Soldier as the jealous type,” Clint commented, “You two are cute actually, I’m rooting for you, we all are, right team?”</p><p> </p><p>Why anyone in Shield would entertained Clint Barton and his idea? Sam had no clue, yet, many people vocally expressed their agreement with his claim. Of course it was nice to feel supported, but Sam still had no intention exposing this part of his life publicly, even to other Shield agents since he suspected the info would mysteriously leak to the press one way or another before lunch.</p><p>He doesn't want to care, really, but he does and the very last thing he needs is to start any kind of relationship with Barnes, and he really wants to, under the scrutiny of people hell-bent about twisting everything he says or do to push their own agenda.</p><p>“Can I talk to you for a second?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ohhhh, you’re in trouble” Clint says to Bucky, interpreting Sam’s tone as something announcing nothing’s good. That said, a lot of people would interpret “Can I talk to you” and its variances as something bad, including Bucky who frowns for a second before nodding.</p><p> </p><p>It's easy to find a room where you won’t be listened or surveyed in any way if you know where to look for and Hill’s office that she never use somehow is the perfect place for that. Sam has no idea why she doesn't come here, the room is kind of nice and looks way more comfortable than Fury’s.</p><p> </p><p>“You changed your mind. I get it”</p><p> </p><p>“Barnes,” Sam starts, then softer “Buck, dude- What do you want for us? Do you even want an us? Do you understand what it means”</p><p> </p><p>“<strong>Yes.</strong> I wanted to date you since you visited me in Wakanda”</p><p>Sam smiles just for a second; the light seems to it his cheekbones just right. Back in the day, Bucky could wax poetic about a dame until her underwear was wet to the touch, he remembers, an ability he totally lost now so he notices all these things about Sam but has no idea how to say any of it. It's one of the reasons he had felt unable to just flirt with Sam more seriously.</p><p>“It took me some time, you know? To feel that I could do it, date someone, that it was okay for me to be loved despite what I’ve done- Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean” he explains to the look Sam gives him. He still feels guilty about his kills, no matter if he was brainwashed. “And as shitty as it sound, I never thought it would be allowed to even be with someone like you, Is it weird to feel lucky that I can have that here and now?”</p><p>For a moment he stops there because while he isn’t proud about it, Sam deserved to know where he is coming from “To me, it feels right to be by your side. I know I’m not the best man you can have, Sammy, but I’ll love you right, if you let me, I promise”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry you’ve been outed because of me. You told me you weren’t ready,” Sam apologized cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault at all; I was the one who asked for that kiss, remember? And by the way, I would very much like another, now, if you want to”</p><p> </p><p>The abrupt change in tone makes Sam laugh, he still barely can believe this is real but he does extend his arm to catch Bucky’s metal one and bring him closer, walking back to sit on Hill’s desk and have Bucky between his legs.</p><p>The initial kiss is chaste just a press of the lips that could have stopped there but doesn't. In five seconds, one of Bucky’s hand is on Sam’s neck, the other one under his shirt on his hips while Sam has one in Bucky’s short hair and the other one on his ass.</p><p> </p><p>“I sure hope you didn’t have in mind to do the nasty in my office, boys”</p><p> </p><p>They jumps from each other, yes, even Bucky is surprised but only because all of his senses were targeting Sam and Sam only. Maria looks at them with severity but Nick, Clint, Carol and Peter couldn’t hold their laugh anymore.</p><p> </p><p>“Better yours than mine” Fury adds.</p><p> </p><p>“Guess that answer my question” Clint smiles brightly, before giving a few bills to Peter.</p><p> </p><p>“Congratulations” The young man cheers but it is unclear if it is to Sam and Bucky or to himself because Clint just gave him money.</p><p> </p><p>“Is it too late to ask for some kind of privacy?” Bucky asks anyway, not as embarrassed as he initially was. The sensation of Sam’s lips on his still tingling and his bulge is excessively visible with these damn pants.</p><p> </p><p>“Get out of my office and point your gun elsewhere, please, I cannot believe-”</p><p> </p><p>After Maria’s words, they walks out of the room and Bucky notices that Sam is silent but smiling and when they start walking away, he even grabs his hand to guide them away.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>Sam and Bucky become the most high profile couple in the super hero business. Not that they want the title, but people give it to them anyway. They had a lot of eyes on them, more so than usually by virtue of helping people and you would think that this would be more important, but no.</p><p>Articles, interviews of “entourage” (since they wouldn’t answer any), think pieces, that fucking movie, hell, his own sister read them a fanfiction about them one time. It was a lot and it did made the start of their relationship quite rocky and under a lot of pressure. Sam had made it rudely clear that he wasn’t playing by anyone else rules, his relationship was his and Bucky’s alone, no matter what other thought they were entitled to.</p><p>What the general public doesn't realize is that it gives bad people all sort of ideas they really didn’t need. Between the metamorph who took Sam’s appearance to get close to Bucky and that one ex MI-6 agent who associated with Zemo to get revenge on Sam through hurting Bucky, it just became too much.</p><p>Bucky has been hurt during that one battle and he is barely in the medical van before Sam spots a group of people with their phone out to get all of this on camera. He can’t believe it. In fact, he can, but it hit him that people would just guide every ill-intentioned individual’s right to them or film their death without one ounce of shame. Zemo has been able to find them because someone tagged them in a video, he should sue their asses to teach them a lesson.</p><p>And that’s what he says to them, leading to another video of him going viral and some people believing that he is somewhat in the wrong because he doesn’t want every deranged fucker to show up on his doorstep.</p><p> </p><p>When Sam joins Bucky in the medical bay, he is done being bandaged but otherwise seems okay. Sam waits in silence for the nurse to be done and leave but doesn’t move closer once they are alone.</p><p>Bucky already know what might be on his boyfriend’s mind.</p><p> </p><p>He sights “I refuse”</p><p> </p><p>“You refuse- what?”</p><p> </p><p>“To let you go. Fuck’em”</p><p> </p><p>Sam bit his bottom lip, looks at the ceiling toward nothing, then back to him “Buck-”</p><p> </p><p>“I refuse” Bucky repeats slowly with intent. “You know breaking up wouldn’t change anything besides making us miserable. I know you love me Wilson, and you know damn well I fucking love you back. Let us have this”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky may speak with a determination stronger than vibranium, it doesn’t mean tears aren’t gathering in his eyes as the silence stretches for way too long. When Sam finally walks closer and touches his cheek with infinite tenderness, he nuzzles in it even if the tears starts to fall, afraid of what is about to happen.</p><p> </p><p>“You are right”</p><p> </p><p>“I am?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam takes in the hope in Bucky’s eyes, his doubts couldn’t stand a chance with these on him. He wants to be happy, he wants to keep Bucky safe and for a moment, this doesn’t sound like two things he can do at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just- They took our coming out, took our relationship and they almost took <strong>you, </strong>and I know this is supposed to come with the territory but I’m not fine with that<strong>”</strong></p><p> </p><p>Bucky kisses Sam’s palm, pulls him closer with one arm until he could rest his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Sam’s heart is steady and loud.</p><p> </p><p>“One day- we’ll stop. We’re going to travel, make friends that don’t know twenty ways to kill us, have a place where we can have little Dany for the week end. One day we’ll have a life that don’t put us at the forefront, but I can’t promise you that we won’t have to look over our shoulders. I’m sorry about that”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a whole plan you have there, Buck’” Sam said with a soft voice, his fingers on his boyfriend’s scalp “Who knew you would be the hopeful one in this relationship?”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky chuckles at that “You give me hope”</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I was stronger, for you”</p><p> </p><p>“You are already plenty strong Wilson, don’t ever doubt that”</p><p> </p><p>Sam takes a deep breath, letting himself believe in Bucky’s words and gives him a slow kiss. He wants to believe that they can work it out, that they have a whole future ahead of them, he just thought he would have a thicker skin already. One of them being targeted is not new, the reason <em>why</em>, however, is. The accumulation of having to deal with people trying to kill them, sabotage them, dictate what they should do and how they should do, made them be what they aren’t or whatever is a lot.</p><p> </p><p>Before actually dating him, Sam never imagined what a relationship with Bucky would look like and now he hates that he feel the pressure to be perfect instead of being himself. It has been like transitioning from the Falcon to Captain America, he was just representing himself before, now, it's greater than him.</p><p>Being a black man in a gay relationship in the eye of the public means that Sam is hyper-aware of things he would gladly not think about, unfortunately, if it wasn’t his family or colleagues bringing it up, it would be the PR team and Sam’s patience is running thinner and thinner.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t take another think piece about how I’m exuding toxic masculinity or that I absolutely have to clarify my sexuality” he says. Briefing at six in the morning is not his favorite and Sharon showing him another article on these topics makes him regret having forgotten to take some coffee before walking in.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, Wilson”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky put a tall cup of fuming cappuccino in front of him right after joining them. They hadn’t see each other in three days and Sam wasn’t even sure he would be here this morning. He could have just asked, but didn’t want to sound too eager, damn, he is such a child sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks baaaaa, Barnes”</p><p> </p><p>Damn, he almost called him <em>babe</em> in front of Fury and the others. Bucky winks at him, Sharon looks away to laugh and Fury’s silently judges him but Sam pretends he doesn’t know that and drink the hot beverage instead.</p><p>After this mission, both Bucky and him will have a few weeks off. They hadn’t planned anything already but with Christmas and the end of the year right around the corner, Sam wants to spend this time with his partner. He approaches him after the meeting, trying to sound casual about it.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey” Bucky answers, keeping an eye on the rest of the team walking out to be sure they aren’t eavesdropping before setting them back on Sam. He seems cautious.</p><p> </p><p>“So, three whole weeks without missions uh”</p><p> </p><p>“And we got’em at the same time, what were the odds” Bucky says mischievously.</p><p> </p><p>If Sam didn’t know any better, he would start to believe this isn’t a coincidence at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you planned something yet?”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky tilts his head for a second, barely concealing a smile “Well, I sure hope to spend a maximum of it with my man, how does that sounds?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam beams at him “Great, because we are celebrating Christmas at my sister’s and we are invited to three different new year’s party so we have to choose, if you want to. Well, technically I guess you should make it four for New year and Steve tried to insinuate that he wanted to do Christmas with us this year, so-”</p><p>Sam pauses, taking in the conversation they are having and feels a surge of happiness that makes his cheekbones even more pronounced somehow, reflecting the light of the hallway they are now in as if glowing from within.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just- look at that, at us, planning for you to meet my family, choosing which party to attend- as if we are just like any couples”</p><p> </p><p>“Because we are,” Bucky puts his hand on Sam’s waist, offering him a reassuring smile “doesn’t matter what they see in us. All that matter to me is what you see in me”</p><p> </p><p>“And I see someone that constantly tried to uplift me. At least, once you got your head back”</p><p> </p><p>“Meh, most of it, I’d say”</p><p> </p><p>They usually tone done the PDA to a minimum when they aren't at each other's place but Sam decides to kiss him, not caring of the very few agents passing by anyway. He loves him more than he could express with words and no matter where this is taking them, hei s happy to go, as long as he has Bucky by his side.</p><p> </p><p>*End*</p><p> </p><p>Side note, they attend no party for New Year.</p><p>Somehow, Bucky’s manages to get Sam horny all day and they spent their time fucking and drinking champagne. They do have a fight at approximately two in the morning that startes with “You fucked me for a whole hour last time, we already missed everything and I have to eat! Leave my ass alone Barnes, I’m not playing”</p><p> </p><p>“Then stop putting your butt in front of my eyes,” he imitates his boyfriend “Oh look, I’m Sam Wilson, wearing nothing but a jockstrap and I haaaaaaave to bend to get this tv remote”. He even pulls his sweatpants down to make a point. “Oh no, Bucky, don’t look at my gorgeous ass, don’t! you perv!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah? That’s how I sound like? Fuck you. No, you know what? Actually, fuck you”</p><p>And Sam fucks him, delaying any food intake for another forty minutes. In the end, they are too tired to function, even Bucky, and they end up sleeping on the couch in a mess of limbs and gentle snoring.</p><p>When Sam opens his eyes, hours later, he feels surprisingly good. No headaches, no foul tastes in his mouth, no pain in his back, nothing, as if he just had a perfect beauty sleep. He feels Bucky’s hand, light as a feather, going up and down slowly on his back since Sam is currently laying on top of him. Then, the hand moved to his ass and grabs it, apparently resting there.</p><p> </p><p>“I love your ass”</p><p> </p><p>“I- hate you Buck’” Sam starts to laugh in his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah- I love you too, happy new year”</p><p> </p><p>*End, again.*</p><p> </p>
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